Polaris
by bickeringgibberish
Summary: Expectations create disappointments, and Hanji Zoe learns it the hard way.


**Summary**: Expectations create disappointments, and Hanji Zoe learns it the hard way.

* * *

She knew never to expect.

And yet she did, and now she was disappointed.

The sky was dim, warning her of a storm that is about to come, clouds looming in their forlorn glory mirroring the expression etched on her face since morning as she looked out her dull and dusty window. She wondered how his presence manages to change everything even the smallest details, making it feel like nothing is right in the world, like it's never the same without him.

She reached for her curtain, tattered and dirty, and shoved it, eyes fixed on the lonely grounds, with nary a person training hand-to-hand combat or squads filed in rows, listening to their captain's instructions or tales of battles, like distant memories slipping away.

Hanji leaned against the wall heavily, wondering what's taking them so long to come home. Worriedly, she sighed, taking in the sight of the outside, hoping they'd make it in time.

She turned to her desk, fingers trailing on the edges of her papers (new information added to their database regarding titans, and a few reports of scouts about casualties). So far everything had been utter boring to her, not a single report appealing to her normally overexcited brain.

Disdainfully, however, Hanji chose to sit down again and look at the papers, knowing too well that Moblit would come any second now to check up on her and her work.

True enough, a knock made her look up, an expectant smile on her lips, ready to face whoever comes in. Muttering admission, the door creaked open and Mike, with a perplexed expression, entered the room.

"Yes?"

"Uh, Hanji, you could loosen that smile, you look like a lunatic."

"Funny, you look constipated, taken a dump yet, Mike?"

Mike turned away from her with a blush. Hanji can never understand how people act like dumping is something sacred, something to be done in secret from the whole world when everyone else does it, and something considered as normal for humans. "R-Really, Hanji."

"I'm just asking, no need to be act so pure, everyone does it." She mumbled waving her hand about, "Now, what is it?"

"Oh," Startled, "I'm here to deliver the message that the Commander and the Corporal together with the Levi Unit and the Elite Squad have arrived."

"Eh?" She straightened up in surprise, her chair's legs scraping against the floor before tumbling down.

"Er, Hanji…"

"Never mind the chair," she said giddily, "or you can straighten it up for me. I'm going to greet them!" Snatching her jacket and fumbling with her boots as she skipped towards the door, she grinned at Mike and fled the room.

"Hanji!"

She fled down the stairs two steps at a time, not minding the bewildered looks of scouts and the shouts of other leaders regarding her careless way of going down the stairs. Hanji ignored all of them, running past more people, turning around corners with little preamble until she reached his room.

Hanji grinned, pinched her cheeks and ran a hand through her messy hair. She cleared her throat and took a deep breath, bracing herself,

And then threw the door open with a loud bang.

"Rivaille!"

The occupants of the room: Irvin Smith, in his in-command-glory as he sipped his Earl Grey tea stared at her in shock, while the Corporal, Rivaille, hung his head and pinched the bridge of his nose at the sight of her.

"Irvin!" She said with surprise.

"Oh, Hanji." Was Irvin's welcome, "would you like some tea? I'll have someone prepare one—"

She shook her head, eyes with mirth. "Welcome back, Irvin, Rivaille!"

Rivaille's narrowed eyes met hers briefly, enough to send shivers down her spine (bad shivers) before mumbling to himself. "And then I thought I'd get a few hours of rest. What am I to expect from this barbarian?"

Hearing this, Irvin chuckled and stood up. Rivaille watched him with surprised eyes, wondering why he was getting up so early when they haven't even discussed anything that matters yet. "I'll leave you to rest for a bit, come to my office later."

Rivaille nodded shortly, "That is if this woman would leave sooner." Irvin shook his head and made to leave the room. Rivaille watched him pass by Hanji Zoe who had an expectant look on her face like a dog waiting for a bone, before ruffling her hair, "I'm home. I hope you haven't been tiring yourself." She smiled and shook his hand off and scoffing, "Course not."

Once the door clicked close, Hanji walked to his window. "So how was it? The trip, I mean? What did you discover? Did you kill any titans? Did you bring some home for me? Was anybody killed? Were you hurt? But that's unlikely to happen," she laughed, "after all _you_ are the Corporal, you're worth a hundred—"

"Can't I even have a moment's peace at all?"

"Say, did Auruo survive this mission? I honestly thought he'd be the first to die in your group. How did Eren take this mission? Was he excited? I hope he was, I mean he'd been holed up in this place for god knows how long and—"

"Are you even listening to me?"

"Oh, oh, I heard that Trost has new souvenirs, at least tell me you got me that if you didn't get me any intel. By the way, some of the squad leaders have been asking why Mikasa Ackerman isn't part of your squad, well, I was also wondering about that. _And_, oh, did you know Nana—"

"Hanji, you're annoying. Can't you take a hint and shut up even for a while?" He snapped, slamming his teacup against the desk with such force the cup broke in half.

"Has anybody told you about people and their need of privacy or peace and quiet? Seriously, Hanji. Who gave you the idea that you can just barge in my room without knocking like you own the place? We may be friends in your book, but that doesn't mean that you can just cross the boundaries I've set. Being chummy with me doesn't give you the privilege or the permission to do as you please when you're around me. _Are you even listening?"_ He turned to pin her a pointed glance, full of contempt and the desire to murder her right there, right now.

Hanji looked up, blinking at him before flashing him a nervous smile, "Eh, did I space out? I'm so sorry. Uh, don't worry, I heard you loud and clear, Rivaille. I'm really, really sorry, Rivaille. I… I'll take my leave now. You go have your rest." She dashed for the door and called out, "I'll see you at dinner… or whenever. Whatever. Later!"

**-o-**

Hanji hung her head watching the shadows on her ceiling with interest, she shouldn't have annoyed him or disturbed him, god knows how scary it is when Rivaille is angry at anyone. Maybe she should offer him assistance during Cleaning Day to show how sincere she is, or ask Irvin to make Cleaning Day a one week affair in the Legion. She threw herself on her desk, almost knocking her bottle of ink and frowning. Why did she have to act like an idiot anyways?

The door creaked open and she shot up, "I'm working, I'm working, can't you—oh," she murmured once she took in the sight of Rivaille in his white polo shirt rolled up to his elbows, a look of amusement and confusion in his face. He stepped inside and leaned against the door, arms folded and an eyebrow raised.

"I thought you were Nanaba or worse Moblit." She answered at his unspoken question, "What are you even doing in here? Have you gotten enough rest? Have you eaten dinner?"

"Have you?" He countered, eyeing the mountain of workload on top of her desk. Hanji cleared her throat and looked away with a blush.

"What's with that sheepish expression? I'm only asking if you ate or not." His tone was curt and low, as if knowing that she'll answer him wrong anyways.

"No, I'm not hungry. But you should eat! You should've eaten, right? It's past dinnertime and…"

"Knowing you and your habit of holing up in this room of yours, I asked Nanaba to send a meal for us up here. Besides, I have a lot of paperwork to catch up to." He added quickly, noticing the meaning behind his words hoping Hanji didn't notice.

"Oh, okay. I'll just clear this up so that…"

"I'll help."

She laughed, "But of course, it'd be weird if you wouldn't." Hanji pushed her glasses up and set her ink bottle aside. "It's nice. Having you here, I mean."

Rivaille looked up, meeting her eyes. Quickly, she averted her gaze. "I mean it kinda feels lonely when you aren't here. I have no one to talk to, you know. I mean, yes, Nanaba and Mike but… but they aren't you, I mean… you're different. We fit, like we're of the same wavelength. It just feels different. And I don't just mean me," She said with wide eyes. "Even the scouts look ridiculous without you and Irvin," Quickly, "around to keep order, and the Cleaning day, if you were here, I knew you'd have a fit."

"So you missed me?" He blurted out

"What?" Surprised.

"My company, I mean."

"Yeah. Of course. That's why I acted like that earlier, I'm sorry about that by the way. I shouldn't have crossed the line. I was just… so happy. Seeing you and Irvin back. Maybe I should've expressed it in a different way, like screaming your name while I mess up my room or something."

Rivaille shook his head, a small smile appearing on his lips. Hanji looked at him, "I missed you—_this_, I mean, too."

She blinked at him, "What, talking?" At his nod she grinned, "Really? You did? So, what happened in your mission? Met any new titans around? Got something else to give me? Cause you know I have a lot to tell you about the experiments I conducted when you were away and no one would listen to me at all! I mean what I just discovered was something so amazing about the titans, so did you know that if you increase the temperature they—"

Rivaille watched her ramble with a dumbstruck expression, hands moving wildly at her story, eyes bright and a large smile on her face. Funny, he never considered her voice, cackle and the sight of her as something so relaxing before. But now, watching her in her highest moment, with eyes never leaving his, strangely, he felt at ease and at home.

He'd never miss this for the world.

"Are you still listening, Rivaille?"

"Funny, I asked you the same question earlier."

"Anyways, now that I have your attention, one scout almost got his arm ripped off by our pet titan the other day, I bet our pets are really, really hungry now."

No, he wouldn't.

She was his home.

* * *

**Author's note**: I have this headcanon that Hanji turns something so serious into something comical, and Rivaille doesn't mind at all. Seriously, they occupy my mind. They're all I ever think about lately.


End file.
